Do men really have it easier? From a transgender point of view.

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thekev

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Agree. It's an issue for deprived men, and a propeller for the Incel movement. The thing is that some young people think if they don't find you attractive, you must be deprived. In reality, if the general level of kindness from women is higher, then men won't get that impression, and if women do you basic kindness to send signal (which they do), then it's very confusing signaling to men. I learned it early on to set my threshold very very high to consider some additional motive behind kindness, and it led me to have beautiful (platonic) friendships with women, which I enjoy to date.

I do that too. I find subtlety annoying, so if I think someone is trying to be subtle, I ignore it.

Whenever I hear (or read) a man refer to "females", in my mind, memory, or ears, somehow, I seem to hear Quark - of the Ferenghi - hiss, sibilantly, the noun, "females..."
I was never that into Deep Space Nine. I would have preferred to see Brent Spiner and an army of killer robots or something. My opinions are unpopular though. I also said that Patrick Billingsley should have been cast as Doctor Who in the old series.

Whenever I hear (or read) a man refer to "females", in my mind, memory, or ears, somehow, I seem to hear Quark - of the Ferenghi - hiss, sibilantly, the noun, "females..."

These thing seem to go in and out of style, by my reckoning. Some people use the term "woman" as an adjective now, which sounds weird to me.
 
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Alli

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I was never that into Deep Space Nine. I would have preferred to see Brent Spiner and an army of killer robots or something. My opinions are unpopular though. I also said that Patrick Billingsley should have been cast as Doctor Who in the old series.
That would have been too perfect.
These thing seem to go in and out of style, by my reckoning. Some people use the term "woman" as an adjective now, which sounds weird to me.
It’s just that we should use man/woman and male/female as well as boys/girls. But people regularly talk about the girls getting together but it’s a man-cave. The words girl and female are used too often when boy and male would never be used.
 

thekev

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That would have been too perfect.

Spiner is still alive, so the killbots could still happen. He showed up in Star Trek: Enterprise as well. Billingsley died in 2011, according to Wikipedia.


That would have been too perfect.

It’s just that we should use man/woman and male/female as well as boys/girls. But people regularly talk about the girls getting together but it’s a man-cave. The words girl and female are used too often when boy and male would never be used.

That's roughly how I use them. I would typically use "female" though when referring to a "female clerk", "female politician", etc. The terms "man" and "woman" sound weird to me in those cases.
 

Alli

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That's roughly how I use them. I would typically use "female" though when referring to a "female clerk", "female politician", etc. The terms "man" and "woman" sound weird to me in those cases.
And that’s how it should be. I get annoyed when someone says girl instead of woman, or female when they’d be referring to a man, they would never have said male.
 

Scepticalscribe

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That would have been too perfect.

It’s just that we should use man/woman and male/female as well as boys/girls. But people regularly talk about the girls getting together but it’s a man-cave. The words girl and female are used too often when boy and male would never be used.

Excellent post and well said.

Just to support your point further, the word/noun "Boy" has a specific (and culturally loaded and offensive, as it tends to be used - or has been used - deliberately used to demean and belittle ) context in the US, when it was used by white men in positions of authority or power or privilege to men of colour.
 
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thekev

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DS9 is THE sh!t! The only star trek I watch with my daughter. We rewatched a few episodes with my wife few weeks ago and both of us were like, wow, I didn't remember it was THIS good starting season #2.

Maybe I'll go back and watch it again next time I'm subscribed to a service that offers it. I remember I really disliked Voyager. I went back and watched part of that again. It was okay. I still dislike like the holographic doctor, and I still prefer TNG. The first season wasn't as bad as I remember though.
 

P_X

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Maybe I'll go back and watch it again next time I'm subscribed to a service that offers it. I remember I really disliked Voyager. I went back and watched part of that again. It was okay. I still dislike like the holographic doctor, and I still prefer TNG. The first season wasn't as bad as I remember though.
I like DS9 because there was a straight cohesive storyline from early on. They also added a level of politics, diplomacy and lots of ambivalence as to what are the limits of morality in the service of the greater good. They also really really were spot on with the Bajorian war an its references to nazi war crimes and the Holocaust. I consider it a sophisticated cautionary tale for teenagers who want to gain a better sense of the mechanics of genocide without being derailed by the current state of the interpretation of concrete human historical events.

It also had a black captain, something that meant a lot to me as a teenager.
 

Scepticalscribe

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While I loved TSG, and really liked DS9 (with its black captain), as a woman, I must say that I also liked Voyager.

However, the show I couldn't stand - and I absolutely loathed the captain - was Enterprise.
 

thekev

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While I loved TSG, and really liked DS9 (with its black captain), as a woman, I must say that I also liked Voyager.

However, the show I couldn't stand - and I absolutely loathed the captain - was Enterprise.

I didn't like Enterprise either. They forced interpersonal relationships between characters with no chemistry, and in spite of a lot of progressive messaging, it was more blatant with stupid innuendo than any of the others.

If they really wanted to go that direction, they could have cast Dean Stockwell as an admiral or something for the occasional lewd reference.

Scott Bakula was the captain in Enterprise. He was previously Sam Beckett in Quantum Leap, where Stockwell was cast as Al, a sleazy hologram.
 

lizkat

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Argghh. OK. Imma look up Star Trek in Wikipedia, get the order of the series straight in my mind and then start riffing through episodes of some of them so that on my deathbed or possibly even at the Pearly Gates interview, I can say that I made an effort. This time I really mean it.

Tired of having to look up the various series' acronyms. Let the shaming begin (again)... 📺
 

LIVEFRMNYC

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It is somewhat disingenuous to suggest that someone who has transitioned to male will naturally be treated as male. It is not about man vs. woman, it is about being transgendered.

Why wouldn't they be treated as a male, if other men aren't the wiser of him being a transgender?
 

Huntn

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In recent years, I have read a few articles on this subject, and - condensing the conclusions - the findings seemed to be that professionally, life became considerably easier when one presented as male - you weren't spoken over or condescended to in meetings, your ideas were taken seriously and assumed to be yours, your "no" to silly requests was accepted immediately without pushback, physically, the space you occupied was not challenged or threatened, you were assumed to have a right to be there without explanation, justification, or propitiation.

However, personally, matters remained complicated.
So basically many of us are sexist and racist, who knew? 👀

From the article:
In the 1990s, the late Stanford neuroscientist Ben Barres transitioned from female to male. He was in his 40s, mid-career, and afterward he marveled at the stark changes in his professional life. Now that society saw him as male, his ideas were taken more seriously. He was able to complete a whole sentence without being interrupted by a man. A colleague who didn’t know he was transgender even praised his work as “much better than his sister’s.”

I’ll never call the police again’

Trystan Cotten, 50, Berkeley, Calif.

Professor of gender studies at California State University Stanislaus and editor of Transgress Press, which publishes books related to the transgender experience. Transitioned in 2008.

Life doesn’t get easier as an African American male. The way that police officers deal with me, the way that racism undermines my ability to feel safe in the world, affects my mobility, affects where I go. Other African American and Latino Americans grew up as boys and were taught to deal with that at an earlier age. I had to learn from my black and brown brothers about how to stay alive in my new body and retain some dignity while being demeaned by the cops.

One night somebody crashed a car into my neighbor’s house, and I called 911. I walk out to talk to the police officer, and he pulls a gun on me and says, “Stop! Stop! Get on the ground!” I turn around to see if there’s someone behind me, and he goes, “You! You! Get on the ground!” I’m in pajamas and barefoot. I get on the ground and he checks me, and afterward I said, “What was that all about?” He said, “You were moving kind of funny.” Later, people told me, “Man, you’re crazy. You never call the police.”
 

Huntn

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It is somewhat disingenuous to suggest that someone who has transitioned to male will naturally be treated as male. It is not about man vs. woman, it is about being transgendered.
However as per the article by one description, their ideas were better received and they felt more respect after they had transitioned to male.
 

Eraserhead

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The article is pretty interesting. Let me know if anyone wants to read it as I have a subscription.
 
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