The Day I Feared Most Will Soon Be Upon Me...

Scepticalscribe

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You got punched in the head, didn't you?

An entirely appropriate reaction, in the circumstances.

Being sneaked up on, unexpectedly, is usettling as a child, and can feel quite threatening as an adult.

It is never anything other than uncomfortable.

And anyone who has ever done it to me is not classed - that marker in the mind that classifies encounters - as a "joker", but - at best, as immature - and more usually, as a possible "bully", or "obnoxious gobshite", or "possible threat".
 

Eric

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...and so it begins.
You got this

tumblr_o0p5an9dkl1qa1ubyo1_500.gif
 
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Renzatic

Renzatic

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An important question was just brought to my attention.

Besides how it's wrapped, what IS the difference between a calzone and stromboli?
 

SuperMatt

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Speaking of inverted pizza, here’s a popular item from Western NY…


I know there are lots of “gourmet egg roll” places these days (gourmet meaning non-traditional Chinese usually), but I think this company was one of the first to start that trend in the 1990s…
 

Scepticalscribe

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An important question was just brought to my attention.

Besides how it's wrapped, what IS the difference between a calzone and stromboli?

A calzone is folded over, - once - and sealed by crimping the edges, much as my mother used to seal her apple and rhubarb tarts.

From what I can gather, a stromboli is sealed by rolling it in a spiral, sort of like a savoury Swiss roll.
 

Scepticalscribe

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I woke up today to find that my dad had removed all the shutters from the front of the house.

I thought that you were about to write "I woke up today to find that my dad had brought me coffee in bed..."

One can always live in hope.
 
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Renzatic

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I thought that you were about to write "I woke up today to find that my dad had brought me coffee in bed..."

One can always live in hope.

You want to know what happened the last time my dad woke me up? It was about 20 years ago. I had borrowed the car the night before. 5AM rolls around, and suddenly I hear a melodious "HEY, WHERE'S THE CAR KEYS, I CAN'T FIND THEM ANYWHERE!"

I get up, begrudgingly, thinking I must've throw them down somewhere. I mean, I was SURE I put them on the keyholder the night before, but you know, sometimes you toss things aside without thinking, so it's not entirely unthinkable that I might've misplaced them. 15 minutes of me stumbling around later, dad yells for me, telling me that he found them. Turns out he drove the car after me, put them in his coat pocket, and forgot about them.

...and then I get a lecture on how important it is to put the keys up in their proper place. That's just some straight up gall, yall.

As for the gutters, I did have a scratch on one from a storm that I've been meaning to fix up, but never got around to. Dad saw it, thought he'd fix it, and apparently decided to do the rest too, so they'd have matching coats of fresh paint. Yeah, it's a weird thing to do, first day he's here, but hey, I'm not gonna complain. I'm getting my shutters painted.
 
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I woke up today to find that my dad had removed all the shutters from the front of the house.
Years ago when we were back in Aus for a month, my FIL went into our house here, dug though my wife’s stuff, found some wall decal things and just started putting them up, then insisted to MIL that he’d been asked to do it when we returned and asked “wtf is this”?

more recently he decided some ficus type plants we had put in as an extension of a hedge needed to be trimmed… and trimmed them down to the trunk for the bottom ~60% so they look like a giant green lollipop. Two(?) years later they haven’t recovered.

His anticipated and observed behaviour is the sole reason I will be stripping everything that’s not bolted down, and a good chunk of what is bolted down, out of this house and into a shipping container when we leave. The house is legally in my wife’s name (filthy foreigners can’t own houses apparently) but the land belongs to MIL, so we can’t just sell it, and the expectation of anything being left alone, for us to return to a holiday house is naive.

My suggestion if the insanity progresses and you don’t want a direct confrontation (and can’t get away with just yelling at them and swearing because they actually understand what you say): put a stereotypical “annoying in laws” sitcom on a tv when he’s in the room, and make a big deal about all the ridiculous things they end up doing.
 

DT

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Hahaha, yes, if you can keep directing him, so he uses his energy for good, not evil, maybe you can get some nice home improvements done :D
 
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