The Day I Feared Most Will Soon Be Upon Me...

SuperMatt

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You want to know what happened the last time my dad woke me up? It was about 20 years ago. I had borrowed the car the night before. 5AM rolls around, and suddenly I hear a melodious "HEY, WHERE'S THE CAR KEYS, I CAN'T FIND THEM ANYWHERE!"

I get up, begrudgingly, thinking I must've throw them down somewhere. I mean, I was SURE I put them on the keyholder the night before, but you know, sometimes you toss things aside without thinking, so it's not entirely unthinkable that I might've misplaced them. 15 minutes of me stumbling around later, dad yells for me, telling me that he found them. Turns out he drove the car after me, put them in his coat pocket, and forgot about them.

...and then I get a lecture on how important it is to put the keys up in their proper place. That's just some straight up gall, yall.

As for the gutters, I did have a scratch on one from a storm that I've been meaning to fix up, but never got around to. Dad saw it, thought he'd fix it, and apparently decided to do the rest too, so they'd have matching coats of fresh paint. Yeah, it's a weird thing to do, first day he's here, but hey, I'm not gonna complain. I'm getting my shutters painted.
Maybe you could strategically leave things in need of repair directly in his line of sight. Sounds like you’ve got some free renovations headed your way!
 
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Renzatic

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Maybe you could strategically leave things in need of repair directly in his line of sight. Sounds like you’ve got some free renovations headed your way!

I have to be careful not to push things too far though, cuz after awhile, he'll start demanding I help out.
 
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Renzatic

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Took mom and dad to a Mexican restaurant today. They loved the food, but they screamed during the trip there and back. YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST! WATCH OUT FOR THAT POTHOLE! DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR BLINKER? THAT GUY 500 FEET UP THE ROAD IS PUTTING ON HIS BREAKS, SLOW DOWN!

...I seriously considered finding a seedy gas station to dump them off at. They weren't like this before they retired.
 

Scepticalscribe

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Took mom and dad to a Mexican restaurant today. They loved the food, but they screamed during the trip there and back. YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST! WATCH OUT FOR THAT POTHOLE! DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO USE YOUR BLINKER? THAT GUY 500 FEET UP THE ROAD IS PUTTING ON HIS BREAKS, SLOW DOWN!

...I seriously considered finding a seedy gas station to dump them off at. They weren't like this before they retired.

You know, - and yes, countless aeons ago, I, too, used to take my parents to restaurants, and, thus, to my mind, or my way of (greedy) thinking, the key sentence (or part of a sentence) in this post is "they loved the food".
 
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Renzatic

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You know, - and yes, countless aeons ago, I, too, used to take my parents to restaurants, and, thus, to my mind, or my way of (greedy) thinking, the key sentence (or part of a sentence) in this post is "they loved the food".

Yup. Dad swore it was the best burrito he ever had. Didn't stop him from backseat driving me though.
 

Scepticalscribe

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Yup. Dad swore it was the best burrito he ever had. Didn't stop him from backseat driving me though.

Then, that first sentence ("the best burrito he ever had") is the one you may need to keep reminding him of.

The other point worthy of note, in such a discussion, is what my mother (yes, my madly, passionately, liberal mother), used to say - quite emphatically - re backseat drivers, and their unwanted, unasked for, and unwelcome contributions, counsel and criticism.

"There is only one driver, and a car is not a democracy," (like those recurring yet weirdly addictive scenes in Highlander - @Apple fanboy will share my love of that series and its wonderful soundtrack - which kept stressing how "there shall only be One (Immortal)").
 
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Renzatic

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I woke up to the sounds of screaming and stomping today.

See, since they moved in, mom and dad have been spoiling Polly. They're constantly feeding her snacks, playing with her, and petting her to sleep. She quickly warmed up to them, despite being a naturally shy cat.

...it should come as no surprise that when she caught a mouse in the basement, they were the first people she wanted to show her fresh kill off to. I'm sure you all know how the rest of this story goes.
 

lizkat

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Even better, I can expect more of those weird situations where mom starts asking me these non-sequitur questions, like I've been involved in a conversation that up to that point I wasn't aware of.

...given that she's in her late 60's, some of you may think this might be a sign of something or other. I'm not worried. She's been doing that to me my entire life.

That was my step-mom's way... she'd be talking as she entered a room and keep talking even as she left a room to go somewhere else, so at first when I was getting to know her better, I'd politely get up from say the kitchen table where I had been reading the paper over a cuppa coffee, and follow her to be able to hear what she was still talking about, especially since the topic was often about how she thought she might ask me to run errands for her later because we were out of orange juice and almost out of [inaudible..]

But one day she turned on her heel after we'd both entered the living room and she abruptly asked why I was following her around the place. I explained but then she laughed and said that she was usually just talking to herself and didn't expect a two-sided conversation. My step-sibs later confirmed that to me and one of them added "Believe me, if she's actually talking to you, you'll know it." I didn't find that reassuring :rolleyes:but at least I could quit getting up from a chair and following her out of the room just to hear the rest of whatever she was on about.

Still I were you in your current circumstance, I might actually book a motel room as a place of respite....just in case you feel like you need to go someplace else for awhile to keep from doing or saying something really rude. At least you could watch TV for awhile in peace. You can always reiterate your prior offer to put them up elsewhere and just be honest and say you're quite used to having your own space and so do need to maintain that, and thus will be taking yourself elsewhere now and then for the duration of their "visit".
 
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