The official Florida man thread

Edd

It’s all in the reflexes
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It's Florida, I'm not touching that one.

But I WILL say I've learned this past year that no state has the monopoly on dumb. For example: my sister.

Not only did she fight mask and closing the schools, her husband infected my mother with Covid the day before Mother's Day. We visited the next day. And they got around to telling us... maybe 10 days later? But it was no big deal. Like having a cold! Yeah, my uncle, died of Covid 3 days before Christmas, but this Covid is no big deal! Thankfully we're all vaccinated in this household (as is my sister since she works for the school) and it did the job and everyone is still fine. But the stupidity!!! 😞

So yeah, there's dummies everywhere.
Family is often overrated, contrary to the wisdoms of The Fast & The Furious franchise.
 

fooferdoggie

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Florida man finds winning $1 million lottery ticket while cleaning his house​

 

fooferdoggie

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fooferdoggie

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Florida Man Charged in Foiled Murder-for-Hire Plot Planned to Blame Black Lives Matter​


A Florida man accused of hiring a hitman to kill his ex-girlfriend and her family planned to pin the murders on the Black Lives Matter movement, federal authorities said.

Daniel Slater, 51, of Jupiter, was arrested last year on charges of murder for hire, possession with intent to distribute a controlled substance and conspiracy to possess. He's accused of soliciting an associate to help him kill his ex-girlfriend, her sister and the sister's husband in the foiled plan.

A criminal complaint states that Slater thought his girlfriend's family had ruined his relationship. He offered to give the associate money and drugs for carrying out the crime, according to the document. Slater was arrested after his associate began working for the FBI.
 

fooferdoggie

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SuperMatt

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Florida man accused of stealing gator from golf course, threw it around to teach ‘it a lesson’​


Did the Gator learn its lesson? The article doesn’t say… I guess that will be one of Florida’s great unsolved mysteries.
 

JayMysteri0

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Oh, the drama. The ongoing soap opera that has engulfed Florida’s cruise industry had another plot twist late last night. A month ago, Governor Ron DeSantis crowed when a U.S. district judge in Tampa agreed that the U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) had overstepped its legal authority in creating its Covid-19 guidance for cruise ships.

But last night at 11:50 p.m., just 10 minutes before that ruling was about to take place, a federal appeals court issued a temporary stay while the CDC appeals the earlier decision.

That keeps the CDC’s Covid-19-related regulations regarding cruise ships in place—at least for now—in the state that is home to the three largest cruise ports in the United States.

“We are disappointed that the Obama and Clinton-appointed appellate judges found it appropriate to stay the trial court’s injunction and thus continue the CDC’s unlawful stronghold on an entire industry—costing Florida and its tourism industry hundreds of millions of dollars,” said Christina Pushaw, the governor’s press secretary, in an email. Steven Merryday, the U.S. District Judge who ruled in favor of DeSantis, was appointed by George H.W. Bush.

“While we remain confident in eventual success on the actual merits of this litigation, we are considering options for immediate appeal to reinstate the trial court’s injunction that enjoined the CDC’s No Sail Orders as unconstitutional and lacking congressional authority,” said Pushaw.

The long-running beef between Florida and the CDC is over DeSantis’s much-hyped but unpopular law banning so-called vaccine passports, which has left cruise lines in the unenviable position of being prohibited from verifying the vaccination status of passengers sailing from Florida.


That law makes it impossible for cruise lines to follow CDC guidance. The agency says that cruise lines offering sailings on ships with paying passengers need to make sure 95% of passengers are fully vaccinated before setting sail.
 

SuperMatt

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With all the “Florida Man” stories, it’s hard to be the dumbest man in Florida. But DeSantis sure is trying his hardest. Sign a law that prevents one of your biggest industries from opening up again. Why? Because you want to stick it to Fauci?

Fortunately for him, based on the apparent intelligence of Floridians on display in this thread daily, he will probably win re-election.
 

lizkat

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With all the “Florida Man” stories, it’s hard to be the dumbest man in Florida. But DeSantis sure is trying his hardest. Sign a law that prevents one of your biggest industries from opening up again. Why? Because you want to stick it to Fauci?

Fortunately for him, based on the apparent intelligence of Floridians on display in this thread daily, he will probably win re-election.

I just hope he doesn't catch on as a potential candidate for prez in 2024. Time was I would have thought that impossible, but not any more.
 
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