Transgender dating world

Chew Toy McCoy

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Just saw an article about a college student who murdered a transgender woman he met through tinder when he found out after the fact that they were born male. I'm not saying this to justify the murder but I feel when it comes to dating this is something that should be shared almost immediately. But I also understand the fear that doing so could also attract hate and violence. It's a tough position to be in with potentially deadly consequences.
 

Chew Toy McCoy

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Definitely something that needs to be discussed early in a relationship. Maybe Tinder and the like are not the best options.

Yeah, using a service best known for casual hookups based on appearance probably isn’t a good move for transgender people. At this point in history avoiding such things is probably a sacrifice they’re going to have to make and unfortunately a service geared more towards transgender people would probably be a target of hate crimes. This might be a case where general social media would be safer. Just being a member of Facebook isn’t going to paint a target on you like a dating service would.
 

thekev

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Definitely something that needs to be discussed early in a relationship. Maybe Tinder and the like are not the best options.

They probably shouldn't use it if they aren't comfortable disclosing their status outright. I'm guessing there are parts to that, which wouldn't naturally occur to me though. For example, this may primarily attract people with a fetish. If they're concerned about safety, I would suspect it's safer to disclose early. There may be sufficient crime statistics out there to determine whether my assumption commonly holds in practice, since trans status is not particularly new.
 

P_X

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Just saw an article about a college student who murdered a transgender woman he met through tinder when he found out after the fact that they were born male. I'm not saying this to justify the murder but I feel when it comes to dating this is something that should be shared almost immediately. But I also understand the fear that doing so could also attract hate and violence. It's a tough position to be in with potentially deadly consequences.
My opinion is that being trans should only be expected to be disclosed in the following context:
1. If sex is on the table and primary genitals are misaligned with the reported gender identity
2. The moment having children is considered.

Otherwise, guys just need to get over their sexuality crises. It's objectively not gay if your partner has a vagina, LOL.
 

thekev

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My opinion is that being trans should only be expected to be disclosed in the following context:
1. If sex is on the table and primary genitals are misaligned with the reported gender identity
2. The moment having children is considered.

Otherwise, guys just need to get over their sexuality crises. It's objectively not gay if your partner has a vagina, LOL.

That last part is funny. 1. is the reason I would suggest it for Tinder, assuming the conversation is hookup oriented.
 

Chew Toy McCoy

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It's objectively not gay if your partner has a vagina, LOL.

I sometimes wonder if the hyper woke militia would get offended if somebody said they aren't open to dating trans people, as if that attitude is another roadblock to acceptance. I don't know why they would be offended though. If you aren't gay they don't insist you need to be. I don't see how this is much different, but you know....woke people.
 

P_X

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I sometimes wonder if the hyper woke militia would get offended if somebody said they aren't open to dating trans people, as if that attitude is another roadblock to acceptance. I don't know why they would be offended though. If you aren't gay they don't insist you need to be. I don't see how this is much different, but you know....woke people.
I think the right wing had successfully assassinated the word "woke" and we should stop using it. It was supposed to be an Ebonics twist on bing aware of colonialist lies. Now it's successfully contorted into just referring to the "PC police".

Dating preferences vs. bigotry has always been a touchy topic and I'm not gonna go there, but if someone is looking for more than hooking up and considers starting a relationship to potentially having a child, then I think it's very reasonable to want to know. That said, such expectations aren't realistic for Tinder, which is predominantly an outlet to manifest your self-worth issues.
 
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