Trump to launch new social media platform

JayMysteri0

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Yeah, his new media platform for now is wedding receptions.

Big round of applause for our only 2X impeached former president!

Warning: She is joking, but the incident is true...

Screen_Shot_2021-03-28_at_6.19.33_PM_hpffp3

"...and boy are my arms tired."

Former President Donald Trump wandered into a wedding reception being held at Mar-a-Lago but instead of toasting the happy couple proceeded to run through a laundry list of his own personal grievances, according to a clip of the speech obtained by TMZ. “Y’know, I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran—how’re we doing with Iran, howdya like that? Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they woulda done anything, they woulda done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ [and Iran says], ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us,” a tuxedoed Trump said. “And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right? You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim—he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me. We have to, and the tough is... in the most humanitarian way, because that’s what it is. What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shocks, and they call ’em shocks, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster. It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint, and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything.”

Trump also displayed his continuing lack of understanding about the way the American electoral system works, complaining about his loss to now-President Joe Biden. “So it’s a rough thing, and I just say, ‘Do you miss me yet?’” he continued. “We did get 75 million votes, nobody’s ever gotten that. They said, ‘Get 66 million votes, sir, and the election’s over.’ We got 75 million and they said... but you know, you saw what happened, 10:30 in the evening, all of a sudden I said, ‘That’s a strange thing, why are they closing up certain places, right?’ Now, a lot of things happening right now, I just wanted to say, it’s an honor to be here, it’s an honor to have you at Mar-a-Lago, you are a great and beautiful couple.”
 

P_X

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Ha! Guess it helps to watch the video 😛
It's actually pretty funny, but sadly and not to her fault, it takes about a minute to reach the level of absurdity for me to realize this is a parody. Like with the Onion, it's very hard to make a parody of live action caricatures.
 

Thomas Veil

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I can't even...

Can you imagine you're enjoying your wedding reception and this whiny little bitch takes over and starts going on and on about how "unfair" the election and how he was robbed?

....

On the other hand, they did book Mar-a-Lago, so they knew what they were getting into. Fuck'm.

(That TMZ headline, however, is hilarious. "Enough about the couple. Let's talk about me.")
 
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