What do y’all couples do that’s ‘out of the ordinary’ that keeps you together?

U

User.191

Guest
My wife and I have been very happily married now for over 20 years and we’ve been very lucky that the pandemic hasn’t done any damage to our relationship in that regard.

We’re both goofballs and play off each other’s silliness.

However one thing we have started doing in the last couple of years is ‘bedtime stories’ - where I read to her either a chapter, or part of a chapter of a book, cover to cover.

We’ve gone though various books - a couple on short tales about successful women and girls, both Winnie the Pooh books, Grimms fairy tales and now we’re on Han’s Christian Andersons complete fairy tales.

So far we’ve not missed a single evening and it’s now part of our nighttime ritual that helps both of us be cognizant of bed time. It’s also been great to read some of these books that i’d have not otherwise read.

Seriously thinking of going darker next year when we get through Mr Andersen’s tales - may be time for some Edgar Allen Poe!
 

Alli

Perfection
Staff Member
Vaccinated
Site Donor
Posts
4,974
Reaction score
10,045
Location
Alabackwards
My husband used to read to me at night. Sometimes I would sing to him. Since cancer put us in separate bedrooms, that is a thing of the past. I like to think that everything we do together is out of the ordinary. The last year has been rough, but we spend a lot of time in the back yard talking to the wildlife, taking pictures, or indoors playing with the cats.
 

Scepticalscribe

Site Master
Vaccinated
Posts
6,361
Reaction score
9,098
My parents liked each other, and were great friends, every bit as much as they loved one another. They sought the opinion of one another, (and listened to each other as well).

One of the things that I noticed was how much they respected one another, and cheered on, delighted in, and were proud of, each other's achievements and successes. Above all, they always laughed a lot together, and teased each other frequently.

Both always spoke of the need for personal space, and of respecting each other's personal space, interests, and hobbies, - their hobbies and interests were different - yet, also, when they retired, they would always meet outside the house for a cup of coffee and a chat a few times a week - an hour, in the middle of their other activities in the city, an hour outside their house, where they met as friends.

Once, not long after they had retired, I was with one of them, standing in the middle of the city, the medieval part, much of which is pedestrian, chatting to someone else, and we ran into the other parent, who had stopped to chat; the other person - who knew each of my parents individually (through their respectives jobs, and social circles, and networks, which differed) thought to politely introduce them to one another, in case they didn't already know one another. Laughing, they explained that they already knew one another, indeed, that they were married. The person who thought to intoduce them looked on in disbelief, before it dawned on her that they shared a common surname, and was further stunned when - laughing - they pointed to me as someone that was a result of their marriage. I thought this was hilarious.

Their lives were filled with small kindnesses - small thoughtful gestures, and small thoughtful (sometimes spontaneous) gifts - and much laughter.

And my mother told me - years later - that, when she married, she had made a vow (perhaps, remembering her own family, a comfortably off family of cold, clever, sometimes cutting, people) that she would never go to bed on a quarrel, never end the day with a cross word, or allow ill-feeling to linger overnight.
 
Last edited:

Alli

Perfection
Staff Member
Vaccinated
Site Donor
Posts
4,974
Reaction score
10,045
Location
Alabackwards
My parents liked each other, and were great friends, every bit as much as they loved one another. They sought the opinion of one another, (and listened to each other as well, as well); what I noticed also was how much they respected one another and delighted in, and were proud of each other's achievements and successes. Above all, they always laughed a lot together, and teased each other a lot.
That’s the real solution to a relationship. This is why people say friends make the best lovers.
 
U

User.191

Guest
That’s the real solution to a relationship. This is why people say friends make the best lovers.
We first met online on a long since gone "Talker" dedicated to all things Monty Python, when she 'bobbed me on the nose' with a rubber chicken.

Code:
> use chicken
You bop Armless on the nose with the Rubber Chicken

Horrified at the "physical" attack made to someone, who at that time was a total stranger, with a Rubber Chicken she apologized profusely.

And then we got to chatting. From chatting begat telephone calls and a month later we met.

Neither of us even knew what the other person really looked like for the first week so we connected initially on a more spiritual rather than physical level. So our entire relationship started bonding on a level that I personally feel helps longevity.

The body can age, the soul, if nurtured, will sustain.
 

Alli

Perfection
Staff Member
Vaccinated
Site Donor
Posts
4,974
Reaction score
10,045
Location
Alabackwards
We first met online on a long since gone "Talker" dedicated to all things Monty Python, when she 'bobbed me on the nose' with a rubber chicken.

Code:
> use chicken
You bop Armless on the nose with the Rubber Chicken

Horrified at the "physical" attack made to someone, who at that time was a total stranger, with a Rubber Chicken she apologized profusely.

And then we got to chatting. From chatting begat telephone calls and a month later we met.

Neither of us even knew what the other person really looked like for the first week so we connected initially on a more spiritual rather than physical level. So our entire relationship started bonding on a level that I personally feel helps longevity.

The body can age, the soul, if nurtured, will sustain.

That actually sounds a lot like us. We met on an adult chat board playing a game. The game got boring and we started just chatting like normal people. Next month we celebrate our 24th anniversary.
 

Apple fanboy

Elite Member
Vaccinated
Posts
1,489
Reaction score
2,774
My parents liked each other, and were great friends, every bit as much as they loved one another. They sought the opinion of one another, (and listened to each other as well).

One of the things that I noticed was how much they respected one another, and cheered on, delighted in, and were proud of, each other's achievements and successes. Above all, they always laughed a lot together, and teased each other frequently.

Both always spoke of the need for personal space, and of respecting each other's personal space, interests, and hobbies, - their hobbies and interests were different - yet, also, when they retired, they would always meet outside the house for a cup of coffee and a chat a few times a week - an hour, in the middle of their other activities in the city, an hour outside their house, where they met as friends.

Once, not long after they had retired, I was with one of them, standing in the middle of the city, the medieval part, much of which is pedestrian, chatting to someone else, and we ran into the other parent, who had stopped to chat; the other person - who knew each of my parents individually (through their respectives jobs, and social circles, and networks, which differed) thought to politely introduce them to one another, in case they didn't already know one another. Laughing, they explained that they already knew one another, indeed, that they were married. The person who thought to intoduce them looked on in disbelief, before it dawned on her that they shared a common surname, and was further stunned when - laughing - they pointed to me as someone that was a result of their marriage. I thought this was hilarious.

Their lives were filled with small kindnesses - small thoughtful gestures, and small thoughtful (sometimes spontaneous) gifts - and much laughter.

And my mother told me - years later - that, when she married, she had made a vow (perhaps, remembering her own family, a comfortably off family of cold, clever, sometimes cutting, people) that she would never go to bed on a quarrel, never end the day with a cross word, or allow ill-feeling to linger overnight.
The advice I was given goes a step further than never go to bed without resolving a quarrel (which I also agree with).

Always try and be the first one to apologise regardless of blame.

We have a similar sense of humour and I like to make her laugh. But mostly we just love each other very much. Been through it over the years.
But we've been together 25 years (married 23), so I guess we are doing something right.
 
U

User.191

Guest
The advice I was given goes a step further than never go to bed without resolving a quarrel (which I also agree with).

Always try and be the first one to apologise regardless of blame.

We have a similar sense of humour and I like to make her laugh. But mostly we just love each other very much. Been through it over the years.
But we've been together 25 years (married 23), so I guess we are doing something right.
I have an advantage there, being English I’m always apologizing - it’s built in to me genes and I can’t help it.

Sorry, but that’s a fact.
 

The-Real-Deal82

Site Champ
Vaccinated
Posts
630
Reaction score
1,285
I don’t think I can think of anything out of the ordinary as such? I have been married to my wife for 11 years and together 17 years. Things change after children come along but I suppose we both still have a filthy sense of humour and make sure we make time to have date nights when the children are at the grandparents.

Make each other laugh, be affectionate, and surprise each other is my best advice :)
 

Edd

It’s all in the reflexes
Vaccinated
Site Donor
Posts
1,650
Reaction score
2,418
Location
New Hampshire
Smoke weed together?

I don’t have a unique answer. I like the post above about each leading a life of their own, which describes us to a point. I know couples who are joined at the hip. Not my thing but it does seem to work for them.

We have schedules that can go a more than 7 days without overlapping for a day off. Don’t love that sometimes but it’s functional for us. No kids here, low overhead, so we don’t experience a few of the typical stressors. But I’m a happy guy.
 
U

User.191

Guest
Smoke weed together?

I don’t have a unique answer. I like the post above about each leading a life of their own, which describes us to a point. I know couples who are joined at the hip. Not my thing but it does seem to work for them.

We have schedules that can go a more than 7 days without overlapping for a day off. Don’t love that sometimes but it’s functional for us. No kids here, low overhead, so we don’t experience a few of the typical stressors. But I’m a happy guy.
That’s the thing - what works brilliantly for one couple will be the kiss of divorce for another. The key to a happy marriage (IMHO) is respecting your spouse and finding what brings you both happiness.
 
Top Bottom